I’ve wanted to write about Twin Peaks for some time. My friends always tell me too. The thing is people having been writing about Twin Peaks for 25 years. There’s literal scholarly work on the show, dozens of books (both nonfiction and fiction), video games, and countless blog posts.
This got me thinking about what I could offer? I thought about all of the friends I've turned into super fans like myself...
My Twin Peaks fandom started almost 9 years ago when I randomly got the pilot on DVD, which then compelled me to buy seasons 1 & 2. I remember reruns vaguely on TV but was too young to really understand.
You see, the fandom of this TV series in one that predicates that all fans are equal: whether you watched the original on TV back in 1990 - picked up the Blu-Ray in the interim - or just binged watched the series on Netflix yesterday. If you’re in the club - you’re in. You understand.
Easy right? Not quite. For the uninitiated Twin Peaks is, well, weird. People don’t like weird. Perhaps this is why our fandom seems so… exclusive? Getting others to accept the inevitable and join in though can prove tricky.
With the imminent revival coming to Showtime in 2017 it is up to us to help those misguided folks who haven’t realized yet that Twin Peaks is their favorite show.
You’ve told them to watch Twin Peaks. You’ve told them it’s best. But they still won’t listen. Hopefully, these 5 easy steps can help.
Step One: Explain to them that all of their favorite shows wouldn’t exist had it not been for Twin Peaks.
David Lynch changed television. His work was groundbreaking - in short it showed us that television can be cinematic - it can be weird. It changed “detective” shows and “serials” work. In short - he showed that Television could be art. But I digress. For anyone that enjoyed Lost or The Sopranos they owe a thank you to Mr. Lynch.
I’ll focus on one of my seminal favorites, The X-Files - a show that for 9 seasons were weird, experimental, and based off of one central mystery. Most of all, it was mainstream. Had David Lynch not create Twin Peaks, and introduced TV to what could be - Fox would have never invested so much into the Truth.
To further prepare yourself for this step, read and learn more from our friends at Vox and The Daily Dot.
Step Two: Relentlessly quote Dale Cooper in front of them.
You should already be doing this but if you’re not - it’s easy. There are few scenarios in day-to-day life where you can’t fit them in. Here are some of my favorites:
"Damn fine coffee!"
"Every day, once a day, give yourself a present."
"Coincidence and fate figure largely in our lives."
"Black as midnight on a moonless night."
Bonus: When with friends, hold up your phone like a recorder, and start telling “Diane” your surroundings.
The point is people love Special Agent Dale Cooper (myself included). His optimistic and intelligent charm make him inspiring. He’s the kind of character that makes you feel better about whatever mysteries you're facing in life.
Step Three: Drink and eat coffee, pie, and doughnuts as much as possible in front of them while constantly talking about Twin Peaks.
Wear them down. If you can’t, the donuts will. They’ll get the hint.
Step Four: Show them Audrey Horne (and if need be, Shelly Johnson).
It may seem like a base tactic but it is usually effective. Most will be wondering "who is Laura Palmer", without a clue about heartache that awaits them via Audrey Horne.
Guys and Gals alike (even our hero Dale Cooper) are drawn to her. If you''d like to take a moment to remind yourself of your infatuation, please do.
If for whatever melodramatic reason Audrey isn't cutting it - they won't have an answer for Shelly Johnson (they won't), who according to Rolling Stone is "arguably the single best-looking human being on the show". Shelly always works. Simple as that.
Step Five: If all else fails. Possess them into watching Twin Peaks.
Start by giving them ominous warnings, such as. “The owls are not what they seem” and “It’s happening again”. You can shout these out almost every day at your friends. Try it out , it's easy.
Next, employ The Tibetan Method to reason with them.
Unrelated, but then put a fish in their percolator (or coffeemaker).
Nest, hide posters of Bob where they will see them. Here is a good one:
After this, redecorate your home to look like the black lodge (Pinterest can help).
Finally, become a supernatural entity that lives in an extra-dimension and haunt their dreams, eventually possessing them. Easy as pie.
Remember - it's up to you.
Further Reading:
The Secret History of Twin Peaks (available October 18th, 2016)
Anything and everything from the seminal Twin Peaks (and David Lynch) website, Welcome to Twin Peaks.
And last but not least, Reddit.